I fucking hate this I hate him for being back in my life and it isn't even his fault. His ex-wife sent me his email. I hate that I can't let this go. I hate him for not being there ever when I needed him. I hate him for showing up when it always does the most damage. I hate him for being this presence in my life that haunts me. I just fucking hate it. I know if I want to get on with my life I am to some extent going to have to confront him. I am going to have to meet him. I am so tempted just to take a bus up to where he is now and show up on his doorstep. Thats what he did to me. Only I was eleven and far away from my comfort zone. FUCK!