Sigh.
I don't wanna ...

really I don't wanna do anything I just want to crawl back under the covers.

It was an ok Christmas, as Christmases go. We went up island to Comox and spent time with Al's Mother and her husband. I am always bored to tears at these gatherings because really I just don't relate to these people. I hope I get to spend next X-mas with My Mother. Al's Father took a bad spill down a long staircase which was quite painfull and shook everyone up. I didn't get to know Bruce well untill he was daignosed with cancer, and it has always seemed to me that he is walking around with a shadow on his back. I worry about Al because he is terrified his Father might die soon, and is totally unprepared for it. Brice is doing fine right now he is just really sore. Its just that little things that would have been laughed off before have taken on a whole new dimension now that he has been sick.

Al smokes a lot when he sees some of his buddies and it makes me crazy. His Father has said to him that cancer runs in the family and that he should quit. I have asked him to quit, I don't know what else to do because ultimately it needs to be his choice but it drives me up the wall!

Things with Mark and Amber are still tense, and I don't see any sign of improvement in the near future. He isn't suppossed to be drinking and I caught him with a beer in hand out in our garage. That puts me in a icky situation, do I tell do I just stay out of it...ick.

Al and I sat down and talked about it. If and when they do seperate neither of them can stay with us. I am really putting my foot down there. It would be awesome if Amber and Mia could rent out our back room, but I don't want MArk over at our house all the time. Also I wouldn't EVER want Mark as a roomate he just gets on my nerves. So Allan and I agreed it would be far to awkward for the both of us if either of them came to stay. Amber has finished filling out her paper work to apply for Malaspina she just needs to get a copy of her high school transcripts and then she is all done. She is worried that if she leaves Mark he will quit or get fired from his job because he hates it there, and that he will start drinking and smoking again and blame it all on her. Of course every individual is responsable only for their own actions, I know that you know that but... logic sometimes escapes Mark.

Its funny isn't it? The way some relationships just click and others kind of sputter out. Amber keeps saying I couldn't know now if I wanted to marry AL or not, and that you need to be in a relationship for like 2-3 years before you really see the person. But that doesn't take into account all those people who married someone maybe a month to a day after knowing them. I think sometimes you just know. I think if you aren't sure and just want to get married for security you are doing it for the wrong reasons and need to think about therapy.

Valerie gave me a call the other day. She is happy and looking for a new place to live. She is traveling to Paris in March, and sends her love to everyone.